The syndrome of anxious expectation of sexual failure, or, as it is also called, the syndrome of anxious expectation of failure, is interpreted by some men as erectile dysfunction or other sexual disorder, while this is only an incorrect psychological attitude to sex, because of which a man cannot relax at the right moment. Women have an analogue of this syndrome, which leads to anorgasmia, when they cannot concentrate on pleasant sensations, feeling excessive responsibility to their partner for the quality of sex. A practicing sexologist tells about how to diagnose it yourself and how to cope with this problem.
The syndrome of anxious expectation of sexual failure in men
A man who deals with this syndrome very often makes complaints about the so-called erectile dysfunction. Some people believe that they have a certain mental disorder. Some believe that they have certain communication difficulties with women. Some believe that they have some hidden, imaginary sexual disorders. Men may complain that they have an insufficiently sized penis, and they may be complaining about it. But these are all masks of the same state.
Of course, all these factors can influence the formation of the syndrome of anxious expectation of sexual failure, but nevertheless the reasons are still psychological, in incorrect attitudes. Because a man who goes with the wrong attitudes to intimacy cannot relax, his body is under stress, he goes for it as for a certain exam, checking himself is an androcentric option. And it happens feminocentric – when he wants to impress a woman. The more he thinks about it, the less he has the ability to do it. The waiting mode of sexual failure forms this failure. Sexual attitude is half the success.
The body perceives this as an alarming situation, which looks like an erotic one, but in fact it is not, and the necessary processes are not triggered in the process of arousal. A man waits for failure and gets it. And even drugs such as Viagra or Cialis may not help in these cases, because they simply have nowhere to fit in. A man who went for this intimacy, as a feat, still took a magic pill (the expectation became even greater), but did not provide himself with comfort, did not provide himself with a benevolent partner sometimes (because women can also take a negative position, they may not show their sympathies, they can sometimes even mentally injure a man with a rude word), so in this case the man is upset every time more and more, he accumulates the so-called negative experience.
And the more negative experience he has, the scarier it is to go for each subsequent intimacy. Then, as a rule, a vegetative component also appears – this is a rapid heartbeat, sweating of the palms, even sometimes a feeling of lack of air, in some cases, avoidant behavior appears over time, when men even stop getting acquainted. And when I ask him the question: “why?”, he says: “it will still lead to shame, to a sense of humiliation.
More often, the syndrome of sexual failure occurs in young people – up to 30 years old, often happens when changing sexual partners.
Methods of treatment of the syndrome
The treatment of the syndrome of anxious expectation of sexual failure is psychotherapeutic. You can probably say that there is a kind of formatting of the system, that’s how the computer starts to hang up – it is very important to come to the original settings. It is necessary to try to involve the partner in the process, to explain to her that one of the reasons for the formation of this syndrome of anxious expectation of sexual failure was the partner’s super-importance, something peculiar, proof of love – indeed, it also happens. And in this regard, if a man learns to accept a woman’s caress, a kind word, if he ceases to feel obliged to satisfy, then a man often relaxes, the technique of an imaginary prohibition works. When a couple is forbidden to go for intimacy, there is a kind of accumulation of potential, and in this case a man will sometimes make a rush himself, and, often, very successful, but only after he understands that it is safe.
In the treatment of anxiety waiting syndrome, psychotherapeutic methods are used, sometimes these are hypnosuggestive methods (hypnosis). Sometimes we teach the patient a good autosuggestion, when an individual scheme of words is selected that fit well on the soul. It often happens that playing the right fantasy gives a good effect, because another problem of modernity is pornophilia, addiction, when men teach themselves sometimes for many years to get excited on the monitor when they watch various pornographic videos that have nothing to do with reality.
Analog of the syndrome of anxious expectation of failure in women
It is important to think “before” about what kind of sexual relations will be. And in the process, you don’t have to think about it, you have to do it. And in those cases, if the rational component, the so-called thinkers in bed, appears (be it a man or a woman), naturally all reactions break down. Women have an analogue of the syndrome of anxious expectation of failure in anticipation of orgasm, when she similarly considers orgasm as a certain point of success that must be achieved at all costs.
In those cases, if men sternly look into the eyes and ask: “Well, are you again? Did you succeed or not?”, – she feels obligated, she can’t give herself, she can’t fully immerse herself in these feelings. And women have exactly the same analogue – she can’t relax, she doesn’t have orgasticity. And such women complain of anorgasmia. And here the therapeutic approaches are exactly the same – we form a favorable ground, eliminate incorrect attitudes and, of course, prepare for a woman to perceive correctly, be able to anticipate and be able to accept.